More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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