JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
