A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You ruined the universe
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
