at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize