Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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