you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
