you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
