I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
be right there i have to get my cape
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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