I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my mouth tastes like poor choices
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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