Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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