Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So vagazzling was a success
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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