I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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