So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
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Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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