the day after is always just damage control
I intend to get homeless drunk
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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