Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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