who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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