Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
