Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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