I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
