Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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