i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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