in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
