that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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