Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
