she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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