so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize