Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you win again, gameday.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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