actually, I'm a sock model
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize