i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
