I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
