Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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