I think i peed on brittanys purse
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
