I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
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It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
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He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future