Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
porn star boner night. come get it.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down