i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
