She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
