yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
