If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
