So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
