She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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