Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
