I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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