He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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