Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
