Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize