You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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