I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
