I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
