it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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