Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
