forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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