I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
