I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
