How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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