Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
A+ Viking dick
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
