I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize