So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
